Christmas is upon us once again. Every man in a serious relationships knows exactly what this means: Women’s “shopping sense” and “deal radars” are operating at 200% above threshold and they are going absolutely insane trying to find good deals, bad deals, and buy everything in sight.
I’m pretty fortunate with Miss Expatriate, as she is generally always a horribly “womany” shopper, so I don’t experience any increased shopping during the holiday season. She owns an insane amount of shoes and watches, which she appears to buy in bulk on a weekly basis. This is not her kryptonite, however. Her real weakness is stationary stores.
Oh yes, you heard me. Papers, pens, pencils, stencils, tape, paper clips, etc. I can not go into a stationary store with her without coming out 2 hours later holding multicolored papers, pens that write glittery letters in various colors, and random office supplies she swears she’ll need for some future project. It’s even worse around the holidays, as she is engaged in making posters and signs and random holiday decorations for the school.
Personally, I shop like a man. I know exactly what I want and, if I’ve been in the store before, I know exactly where it is. I march in, leaving Miss Expatriate to lolligag around, glancing at shelves and deals, go to where my needed supplies are, spend approximately 3 seconds picking out the right item (taking into account calculations for the right color, size, weight, shape, and all other factors), and march triumphantly towards the cash registers, where I will then wait another 30 minutes (if I’m lucky) for Miss Expatriate to go up and down every single aisle, occasionally stopping to inspect some item and deduce whether she needs it or wants it or can use it or whether she can simply buy it for the purpose of putting it in a drawer or basket somewhere on the off chance that sometime in the future it will be needed and she can triumphantly say “I have one of those!” She will then retrieve it, bring it to me, and hold it triumphantly up to my face with her “See, I told you” look and I’ll be resigned to accept it with her and give her my “Yes, you’re always right” look as I scuttle back to my office.
Christmas, however, knows no bounds. Even here in Taiwan, a country that is much more Buddhist and Taoist than Christian, people put up trees and decorations, but it’s mostly just glam to attract more customers and perhaps a reason to make “Christmas Sales” that will bring in more money. There are Christians, to be sure, and even Christian churches. I’m sure they’ll be having Midnight Mass and Christmas celebrations.
Our own department has also dutifully adorned our offices. Christmas tree, tinsel, paper snowflakes on the windows (thanks to me, Miss Expatriate, and the help of some students) and even some letters to Santa (that I made my students write) now deck the halls. I’ve even placed some mistletoe where I thought appropriate, although I had to explain to everybody the significance of what it meant, at which they normally look very surprised and then beg me to keep it away from them (Taiwanese are not big on showing affection in public).
All in all, it’s shaping up to be a fine Christmas. It’s on a Tuesday this year, which in Taiwan means I’ll be working, as per usual. I will, however, be able to come home with Miss Expatriate, have some Christmas cookies that Mommy Expatriate made for us, and perhaps have some hot chocolate and enjoy a nice, relaxing Christmas evening opening a few presents sent for us. The spirit, indeed, is much more abundant in one’s heart than in any decorations, presents, or church.
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